Every week feels like is goes faster than the last. Running around filling up my days and nights with so much stuff that I feel like I am missing a lot of opportunities. I want more time as a family, with my kids, with my relationship with God, with myself. I used to be a full-time SAHM but because of financial reasons I have had to work a little out of the home. It feels though, that I am working a full-time job now.
I am a pre-k teacher three days out the week and also a piano teacher. I have come to the point where I have realized that there are ways to survive without having to abandon everything you are trying to keep. My husband and I feel very strongly about having a parent home with our children most of the time and for the most part we have. I have a deep desire in my heart to be with my kids and I don't feel it's there just because I want it to be. God made me a mom, and wife for a reason.
It's funny because growing up I was completely different in this way. I wanted to have a chef, maid and a nanny so I could be a successful business woman. It might have to do with the fact that I grew up pretty poor so being comfortable and wealthy was a common thought. The funny part is that when I met my husband, wonderful man he is, my life changed and my dreams changed. I found all I needed from him, and I new it was God using him in my life. Our love grew, God being the center of this love. It's unbelievable what faith comes from this love. Love has no limits and I am so glad that God uses me in my family's life they way He intended. I am happy with who God has made me and there is such a peace when you find what your heart desires. I pray that I will continues to listen to what God has planned for me and if you are going through the same thing, listen carefully to your heart. God is speaking to you.
I totally struggle with this too, as I'm sure you know. I really enjoy seeing all our friends and activities and love ALL the things that we do. But sometimes I feel like we are not home at all, ever! It's hard for me, and I'm at home full-time...I can't imagine doing this if I were still working!
ReplyDeleteLove you, and I hope next year brings some relief!
I used to want that too, maid, nanny, gardener. I wanted to be the corporate gal - big title, office, assistant.
ReplyDeleteI had it (not maid or gardener) the big job. I went back after my daughter was born. I was never going to stay at home. Then I changed - or rather she changed me. I wanted different things. Less money and more time with her.
Glad to have found your blog - or actually glad you found mine first :)